5 REASONS TO BE A HAPPY HUMAN

Ever caught yourself absent-mindedly thinking “Gee, Tony Abbott makes me proud to be Australian”? If you’re struggling to think of a single time ever when that’s happened to you, then read on my friend because this article is for you! On the other hand, if you can proudly relate to Tone’s choice of brightly coloured speedos, step away from this article and go and reassess your life choices.

Sometimes, living in Australia where our border security policies are harsh and we try to prove that climate change doesn’t exist, reading the news can leave you feeling a little down about the way of the world. So to cheer you up, here are 5 reasons to not quite give up on humanity just yet.

1. Australia might soon make marriage equality a thing

If you’re a fan of equality, acceptance and free choice then this one is sure to get you grinning. Momentum has been growing for marriage equality in Australia ever since it was legalised in Ireland and the US. Plus, recent polls indicate that the majority of Australian people want marriage equality, with 72% of people in favour of the reform. This has put pressure on our government to announce that a cross-party bill will be introduced to Parliament this August. It is hoped that MPs will be allowed a conscience vote on this issue, meaning that Liberal MPs won’t be forced to stick to the party line against marriage equality but can vote freely. Abbott’s vote shouldn’t be counted on though, as despite this gloriously rainbow image below (and the fact that he has a sister in a committed same-sex relationship?!), apparently good old Tone is still opposed to marriage equality.

Tony Abbott Rainbow

2. Google prevents revenge porn from being found in Search

Once again, mega company Google has proven that they are unstoppable and indeed have taken over the world. Don’t believe me? Take Yahoo’s word for it (Who? Yeah, exactly). Google have most recently targeted a “revenge porn” website, created by various men seeking to humiliate their ex-partners by posting nude images of women without their consent. Foiling these bad guys’ plans, Google have decided that the images will be blocked from Search. The company says they hope to reduce the embarrassment and suffering of the intended victims by making the images harder to access. You go, Google.

3. Test tube meat

Here’s a reason to be happy for humanity and all animals alike. Dutch scientists have invented the very first lab-grown burger, meaning there may be no need to kill animals for food in the future – yay! Besides the cruelty issues attached to killing animals, cattle are a huge cause of global warming thanks to the methane they produce. The answer to the age-old question of “If a cow farts in a forest and no one is around to smell it, does it still fart?” is yes, yes it does and it makes our planet hotter. An answer to this global warming problem could be laboratory meat, made from thousands of muscle fibres grown from cow stem cells. It is not a cheap process but scientists are figuring out ways to keep costs down so that this cruelty-free, fart-free meat might be available on supermarket shelves in the near future.

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4. Natalie Portman insists on a female director

When you think “feminism” you think “equal rights” (unless you happen to be a men’s rights activist. Then you probably think it means devil spawn). Behind the scenes of the movie-making world, equality is far from being achieved. Only 7% of directors, 13% of writers and 20% of producers are female. This must have crossed Natalie Portman’s mind when she landed the part of Ruth Bader Ginsberg, the second female to become a US Supreme Court judge – and also a feminist. Before agreeing to go ahead with the movie, Portman requested a female director. Portman took a stance against the lack of women in the film industry and fought this inequality. They listened to her and have now appointed a female director.

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5. The existence of Taylor Swift

That is all.

Go, rejoice.

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