April 25, 2013

Peta Petidis

Something which has recently dawned upon me is that of the young human race’s reliance towards the social network, Facebook, when approaching and taking part in a relationship. Of course this isn’t my only and/or usual rant of the ‘superior’ world of Facebook, this is a lesson to give to those who are afraid to give in to the call of nature, not to urinate, but to fall in love! For years now many teenagers have faced the horrible turn to adolescence which brings self-consciousness and doubt in the popular situation of admiration for another (or you could just think they’re baben). Many of these young, restless and angst filled teens have been afraid to confront those of their dreams due to the audacity of their own nightmares which involve the likes of embarrassment and rejection as cold as a frozen cucumber. Today many prefer to sit comfortably behind the shield of their computer, living technological romances easily accessed by the click of a button.

Remember – back in the day of sophistication – when men and women would gracefully meet by fate and coincidence, perhaps by accidentally mixing up their coffee orders or, god forbid, the hopelessly arrogant yet cute pick up line at the bar, or even the pleasure of receiving a compliment from a stranger by the lake as you look over the horizon into the eyes of the sky and across the calm and glassy water, too far? Of course the clichés are downplayed in our modern age of the present, but it is a fact that less young men and women are approaching their wannabe dates in person and rather gather their confident persona through Facebook. Sweeping a girl off her feet has never been so easy. So what happens when your status changes from Single to In a Relationship? The deed is done and she’s yours, right? WRONG. You forget that wooing an individual cannot just be done by sweet talking whilst hiding your face behind a profile picture. The truth of the matter is that everybody wants to feel love or ‘likeliness’ in person, they want to be held, touched, kissed and serenaded but this will never be offered by a computer screen, unless of course that technology is provided in the near future… The confidence and over all drive to ask a person out has been pushed aside with how easy it is to talk to people through social network, but how will you ever understand what it is to be in love without actually reaching for it? Of course embarrassment and anxiety will over throw you but it is a necessity in life. “If at first you do not succeed try and try again.” Life is full of an immense amount of finish lines to cross, and these are met by exhaustion and pushing yourself to succeed, dating somebody is one of them.

I cannot stress enough how relationships only existing on Facebook, do not count in life, sorry to offend those of you who have found your Mr/Mrs right through the web but in my personal opinion I feel an extra stretch is necessary. Let’s say Tony likes Jess but Jess doesn’t know how Tony feels. He compliments her every day during their daily chats on Facebook, but never has the confident drive to converse with her in person. He dreams of spending time with her, their first date could include taking her to lunch and maybe even a movie, the truth is Tony is quite the sweet heart and really cares about Jess, but what can he do to DTR (define the relationship) and make it REAL despite his anxiety and nervousness around her when at school?

  1. If she talks to you so often on Facebook, she must dig you – unless of course you constantly start the conversation and ask her awkward and redonkulous questions such as “You’re so beautiful, how are your eyes so perfectly distanced?” – So attempt to start conversation with her casually and maturely.
  2. Joke around with her when you see her around, perhaps bring up something from your previous chat, ask her how her day’s been or what she plans on doing during the week.
  3. Gain all of your strength and confidence to ask her if she’s free on the weekend and able to accompany you to a nice, casual lunch.
  4. Do NOT attempt to lick her face off on your first real date, when the two of you wish to take that extra step together, make sure she wants to just as much as you do. Body language always helps.

So it may just turn out that Tony and Jess have a lot more in common than Tony first anticipated and they find it easy to talk comfortably in front of one another, rather than through the internet. It is possible that your Jess may not agree to a date, or maybe she just doesn’t find she can converse easily with you, but hey, you tried and you will succeed in the future.

It’s true that majority of girls love assertive guys, but since when was this all about what the boys do to impress the female race? Minus the whole cave man era and you come to the conclusion of female rights and decisions. This even includes their own entitlement to woo a dude! It is just as important for young lass to interest a guy as it is vice versa. When it comes to persuading a young guy to fall for you, you must remember not to degrade him or take your playful antics too far. Don’t flirt with him to the point of causing everyone around you to vomit by your toxic girly grossness because you could very well put him off entirely or make him think something of you which you’re not. In reality it is always important to compose yourself and release an aura of self-assertion and tenacity. Laugh, joke and remember to ‘be yourself,’ as lame is it sounds he may just like you for who you are. Make sure to give out enough in conversation and behaviour to let him know you’re into him and to perhaps assure him you’re interested in something more than being friends. If you’re truly up to the challenge, don’t hesitate to ask him out yourself, guys love it!

After you have contemplated how serious you are about freeing yourself from the chains of Facebook, make sure to come across bold, quirky and responsible. This transition will rely on courage and the strength of your gut, however, do not let your negative outlook get the better of you, contain an attitude which draws others in and ‘stay classy.’

 The internet may be a powerful asset to our present society, but we often find ourselves better off without it. When it comes to seeking a partner or attempting to catch the eye of the one you’ve fancied for almost what feels like an eternity, it could be better to extinguish the help of social media and take matters into your own hands. Logout of your Facebook alter ego and Login to your romantic and very ‘real’ self and steal them hearts!  

– Peta Petidis

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